


To Start and End Every Day with You

by hunters_retreat



Category: Free!
Genre: Be Gentle With Me, First Kiss, First Time Posting in this Fandom, Hanahaki Disease, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-28
Updated: 2018-12-28
Packaged: 2019-09-29 10:00:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17201387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hunters_retreat/pseuds/hunters_retreat
Summary: Floating in the tub was a perfect, beautiful, white water lily.





	To Start and End Every Day with You

**Author's Note:**

> I blame this fic on darkotter at pillowfort :P (And my love of Hanahaki stories) Because it doesn't take much to get me to write a prompt and darkotter said they'd never seen Hanahaki in Free! So here it is. Also, my first Free! fic, so be nice!

He knew why it had happened now.

His feelings hadn’t changed.  He’d been in love since childhood.  Since before he understood what love between two people really was.  In fact, the first memory Haru had was of Makoto.  Not only were their lives connected, his concept of love was entirely intertwined with his thoughts of Makoto.

It happened in the quiet moments.  Always when he was alone.  When Makoto was there, he was content.  When Makoto was gone, when Haru was alone and had time to dwell on that fact, it came. 

Like today, as he’d been in the bath.

Makoto was supposed to come and help him do the shopping.  They hadn’t had much time to spend together lately, with his practices and Makoto’s school schedule so they’d planned to spend the morning running errands. Makoto had called early to tell him he wasn’t going to make it.  He forgot he had a study group to attend in the morning and one of the coaches had called in sick at the Center so Makoto was going to go in and teach the children’s lessons that afternoon.

So Haru had gotten in the bath.  Water was the only thing that soothed the ache when Makoto wasn’t there.  He’d closed his eyes, wished Makoto was coming over to steal him from the water with his gentle hands and warm smile, and just be there with him.

He coughed, small at first, but Haru knew what it was now.  It got worse until he felt the tendrils clinging to the walls of his throat.  He felt them reaching higher as his air flow was constricted.  He closed his eyes against the pain as his body convulsed with the cough.  He sat up in the water, ignoring the slosh as it spilled over the edge, and finally felt it break free. 

He spit into the bath and he took deep gulping breaths before he could open his eyes.  When he did, it was as beautiful as the others had been.  The water had already washed the blood and mucus away.

Floating in the tub was a perfect, beautiful, white water lily.

Haru got out and wrapped a towel around his waist before he took the flower from the water.  He cautiously cared for it, then took a few minutes to prepare it.  When he was done, he had one more water lily in the pot that he’d started to keep in his living room.  Twelve total now.

Twelve times his love for Makoto had almost killed him.  Twelve times Haru had coughed up a pure white flower.  Twelve times Haru wondered if this would be the last.

Haru got dressed and went to the pool.

 

***

 

Finals drew near.  The coughs came more frequently to Haru.  His little water pot of lilies grew until he had to place a pot in his bedroom and one in the kitchen to give them the space they needed to flourish.  Funny, how Haru was able to get them to flourish in the water when Haru himself struggled these days.

Makoto was the only one who ever came to visit him and he’d been unable to stop by so there was no one to wonder about his sudden gardening habits.

He felt the cough trying to build once or twice when he’d been swimming at the pool, memories of his former team bringing Makoto to mind so strongly that he couldn’t deny the wistfulness of his thoughts, but he’d managed to keep it down.  When he got home and relaxed in the tub, he’d coughed up four lilies, as if they’d been propagating inside him while they waited for the light.

To his dismay, these were no longer white, but red.  They were undeniably beautiful, but he couldn’t help but think that the red of blood meant he wouldn’t be coughing up lilies for much longer.

 

***

 

It was an impromptu get together.  Rei and Nagisa had finished school and both Haru and Makoto were in town.  Makoto couldn’t make dinner tonight but he’d said he might be able to meet them later.  Haru didn’t have much hope of that, but he didn’t let that show on his face when Nagisa told him.  Dinner with the two was fun though and it lightened Haru’s spirits more than anything, outside of swimming.

Dinner with Rei and Nagisa had turned into a walk along the beach and they’d run into Rin and Sosuke.  He knew they were in Iwatobi and he had plans to see them for dinner the next night.  Their friendly stroll on the beach took a turn when Nagisa suggested a race.  No one was surprised when Haru had his swimmers on, though to be honest he hadn’t thought about swimming in the ocean himself.  He wasn’t about to turn his nose up at a race though.

He dove into the water and felt the same comfort from the salty brethren of his usual chlorinated escape.  Each stroke of his arms was a caress from the water, the gentle pressure was a reassuring embrace.  The water alone made him feel this sense of comfort and relief.  The water, and Makoto.

It was the worst time to think about it, to think about the friend he was missing so much.  He couldn’t help the turn his thoughts took, to the last time they’d been in the ocean together.  To the night Makoto had almost died.

It was sudden, so much so that Haru couldn’t stop the rising cough.  He didn’t mean to breath in the water, but it had been automatic.  He coughed again and felt the quick rush of roots climbing his throat, as if the taste of saltwater had encouraged them to grow.  He knew there was nothing he could do, so he changed his course.  His usual stroke interrupted by body seizing spasms as the cough grew harsher.

This time when he tried to breath it wasn’t the water that filled his airways, but flower petals that refused him access to the air he needed.

He was able to stand in the water, but even as he did he felt himself falling.  He was gasping for breath but nothing would come.  Black filled his vision and he knew it was more than the night’s black sky.

“Haru?  What the hell is wrong with you?” Sosuke was closest to him and he felt the other swimmer’s strong arms supporting him, lifting him up out of the water.

“Haru!” he heard the others shouting his name as he was laid out on the sand.  He turned over, onto his hands and knees but the roots were growing too fast and the flowers were too much.  He couldn’t get them out. 

He felt a hand on his back and an unexpected voice that he knew too well.  “Haru?!”

Makoto had come.  He felt the roots loosen slightly and as his body convulsed, the flowers lost their footing and five lilies spilled from his lips. 

Haru dropped to the sand, and the blackness overtook him.

 

***

 

“We should have taken him to the hospital,” Nagisa said.

“We know what this is,” Sosuke answered.  “There is nothing they can do there.”

It was the first thing Haru heard as he began to wake.  He was tired and his body ached.  He remembered everything, including Makoto arriving in time to see him choking on lilies.

“What happened to them?” he asked.  His voice sounded ridiculously rough.  It couldn’t be helped though.  It was the roots.  Thankfully, he spoke little enough that most people never noticed. 

He opened his eyes to the concerned face of Makoto above him.  “Haru?  Don’t talk.” 

Makoto helped him raise his head and a cool glass of water was placed against his lips.  He sipped slowly until Makoto took it away.  He closed his eyes and relaxed, knowing Makoto was there to take care of him.

“What happened to what?” Rin demanded.

“The flowers.”

“What?” Rin’s voice raised in pitch and Haru could hear how angry his friend was.  And how concerned.

“They were beautiful.  What happened to them?”

“You want to know what happened to the flowers that are killing you?” Rin demanded.

Haru took a deep breath and it caused him to cough again.

“Haru!”

He waved away Makoto’s concern.  When the cough subsided, he opened his eyes.  “My throat is sore.  It’s not back yet.  It takes a few days usually.”

“Usually?”

He ignored Rin’s words when Makoto held his neck again and placed the glass to his lips.  When he opened his eyes again, he could see Nagisa hovering just behind Makoto.  Rei was behind him, a large hand on his shoulder. 

“Haru?” Nagisa’s voice sounded even younger than usual.  “How many times has this happened to you?”

“It wasn’t like that, Nagisa,” he tried to reassure his friend.  All of his friends.  He wasn’t sure what he could say though.  Hanahaki might be rare, but it wasn’t unknown.  It was a clichéd movie trope, a staple of childhood fairytales. 

It was all romantic nonsense.  It was a disease that would kill him, the same as any other.  This had no treatment.  No cure, except one he couldn’t swallow.

“What was it like then, Haru?” Makoto asked.  Haru looked at this friend, finally looked, and he saw red rimmed eyes.  He hated that he made Makoto worry.  That he made him cry.  He never wanted that.  It was why he’d kept quiet since he realized he was sick.

He looked away.

“It was just a tickle first, right?”

He looked up at Sosuke with wide eyes. 

“Then, a small cough.  It got rougher, but you could handle that.  Then, you spit out a few flower petals.  And you knew what it was, but you could steal deal with it.  Soon, it was a full flower.  Eventually, they were covered in blood.  The coughs became worse, more frequent the more you thought about the person you’re in love with.”

Haru nodded.

“You aren’t the only one who suffered from it.”

“You know someone who had it?” Nagisa asked.

Sosuke just nodded.  He didn’t look away from Haru though. 

“How long have the doctors given you at this point, Haru?” Sosuke asked.

Haru shrugged but he knew they wouldn’t let it go. 

“Haru?”

He closed his eyes at the pain in Makoto’s voice. 

“Six months.”

“What?”

“You have six months to live?” Rin asked in disbelief.

“No.  They gave me six months when I last saw them.”

“When?” was that Sosuke asked.  He seemed to be able to find words when the rest of them were dumbfounded.  He wasn’t sure if it was because they weren’t that close, or if it was because he’d seen this before.

“A year ago.”

“Haru,” Makoto whispered his name and the itch returned to his chest.  He didn’t want to hurt Makoto.  He couldn’t stomach the thought of it. 

He coughed into his hand and was relieved when it was just bloody.  It was going to get worse though.  He knew.

“Makoto.”  Makoto looked up at Sosuke when he called his name.  “Take Haru into the bath.  We all know water will help keep him calm.”

Makoto looked like he wanted to argue, but Haru could see the moment he realized it was true.  It spoke to how distressed he really was.  Haru sat up in bed and grabbed the cup of water, hoping to stop the cough before it could start again.  It didn’t.  He spit up water and blood, but Makoto wasn’t in the room this time.  Sosuke had sent him into the other room.  It made it easier for Haru, to not have to face him after.

“Tea?” Haru asked.  He didn’t know if Sosuke would understand but the other man nodded. 

“I’m going to help Haru into the bathroom for Makoto.  Why don’t you all go to the kitchen.  When he’s out, I’ll help Haru into the living room.”

They protested but Sosuke sent them away with a stern glare.  He’d never been more grateful for the other’s intimidating looks before.  Haru pushed his legs over the side of the bed and took a deep breath as he sat on the edge for a moment.

Sosuke knelt in front of him.  When Haru raised an eyebrow, the other man gave him a small smile.

“He doesn’t know.  Or, he didn’t.  I’m sure he’ll put two and two together eventually.  Two months ago I told him.  It saved my life.  My silence was killing me.  Don’t let it do the same to you.”

“Rin loves you.  That was obvious to everyone, even if you didn’t see it.”

“Take it from someone who knows.  Our situations are not so different.”

“You’re saying-”

“Haru?” Makoto stepped into the room and Haru looked up at him. 

“I’m ready.”

Sosuke backed up and left the room with only a single backward glance, as if he was answering Haru’s unfinished question with that look.

Makoto didn’t say anything as he helped Haru up and into the bathroom.  He stepped into the bath which had been run to the perfect temperature.  He settled back and let his head fall back.  He heard movement in the water, but he was still surprised when a sponge was placed against his forehead.

“Makoto?”

“You didn’t think I was going to leave you alone, did you?” he asked.

Haru sighed.  “I suppose not.”

“Who is it, Haru?” Makoto asked.  “This person you love?  I know you.  You haven’t told her.  You shouldn’t be afraid to though.  You’re brave and smart and funny and anyone would be thrilled to know you felt so much for them.”

“It’s not so easy.”

“Why not?  It has to be easier than this?  Why can’t you just tell her?”

“Him.”

“Oh.”

That seemed to surprise Makoto, but a second later his friend just nodded.  “Still.  You should tell him.”

“I can’t.”

“Why not?  Haru, this is killing you.  I can’t stand the thought of that!”

“I can’t lose him, Makoto.  And what would I do then?  At least I have this time with him.”

“So, it’s someone close to you.  Someone in Tokyo.”

“We used to be closer,” Haru admitted.  He wasn’t sure why he was saying it, but what if Sosuke was right?  Everyone had known how Rin felt about Sosuke, except for Sosuke apparently.  Could it really be the same?

“What happened?”

“We just don’t have a lot of time.  He seems to be busy all the time.  Too busy for me anyway.”

“Haru…” Makoto whispered his name and Haru just watched his face.

“I’ve always loved him.  Even before I knew what love was.  He was always there for me.  I guess I never thought I had to say what I was feeling.  He always knew.”

“You’re an idiot,” the words rushed from Makoto’s lips and before he could respond, Makoto had leaned into him and pressed their lips together.

He’d never kissed anyone before.  He’d never had the desire to attempt it with anyone other than Makoto.  Makoto’s lips were soft against his, just a hint of pressure and Haru gasped slightly as he felt Makoto’s hand in his hair.  It felt possessive, needy.  Like he’d been holding himself back for so long he couldn’t help himself.

“Makoto,” he whispered the name as he pulled back to look up at Makoto.

“Haruka, how could you not know?”

“What?”

“I love you.  I always have.”

“You never said anything.  You … you never come to see me anymore.”

“I was trying to get some distance.  I thought … you were never going to love me.  It got harder not to tell you every time I saw you so I started to find reasons not to be there.”

“I don’t know how to not love you, Makoto.”

Makoto smiled softly at him and he leaned in again to kiss him.  Haru could feel Makoto’s smile against his lips.

“Come swimming with me.” Haru said.

“Right now?  Really Haru?”

Haru smiled as he reached up and pulled Makoto into the bath and his lap.  The bathtub overran but Haru didn’t care.  He wrapped his arms around Makoto and was surprised when Makoto didn’t complain.  Instead, his friend, his… boyfriend settled against his chest.

“Not a pool, but this will do,” Haru said as he pressed a kiss to Makoto’s temple. 

“Yeah, this will do.”

There was a large commotion outside the bathroom, and then in, when their friends all crashed through the door.  All except Sosuke who walked calmly behind them.  He took one look at the situation and smiled.

“That happened faster than I expected.”

“I was motivated,” Haru admitted.

The others glanced between them, except for Nagisa who just kept staring at Makoto, still sitting on his lap in the tub.  Haru could see the faint blush on his boyfriend’s cheeks and Haru thought of all the times he’d noticed the way he blushed in front of him and that he’d put it off as something else.  Now, he thought he understood.

“And since I’m no longer sick, you can all leave.”

“You aren’t?” Nagisa asked.

“Haru!  Don’t be rude,” Makoto admonished, but he knew better.  Haru wanted time alone with Makoto and he knew Makoto wanted the same.

“Come along, Nagisa.  I’m sure Makoto is more than capable of helping Haru tonight.  May we stop by tomorrow afternoon?” Rei asked.

“We’re going to dinner tomorrow night,” Sosuke answered before Haru could.  “Why don’t we all meet here and go together?”

It was quickly discussed and decided between Rei and Sosuke and before Haru could comment, they were all gone.

Leaving him alone, with a very wet Makoto in his lap, and a million words he could never say.

“We should get out of the bath,” Makoto finally said.

He got up and stripped out of his clothes, leaving them a sopping mess in the tub as he offered Haru his hand.

“Haruka,” he said with a voice that was deeper than Haru had ever heard it, “come back to bed.”

It was an invitation he’d never thought to get.  One he could never pass up, no matter what the circumstances.

He allowed Makoto to pull him from the water and then Makoto dried him off and put him back to bed.  Only this time, Makoto joined him under the covers.  Makoto lay on his back, then pulled Haru to him.  Haru couldn’t imagine a time he wouldn’t want to be in Makoto’s arms, so he set his head on Makoto’s chest and closed his eyes. 

As much as he wanted to touch Makoto and to kiss him again, he could feel his eyelids grow heavy.

“Go to sleep, Haru,” Makoto said as he ran his hands up and down Haru’s arm.

“I want to stay awake with you.”

“Go to sleep, and I promise you will wake up with me.  Haru, I thought I lost you tonight, before I could tell you the truth.  I never thought I’d get to hold you like this.  Please, sleep so I can take care of you, and I promise, I will be here in the morning, and every other morning.”

“And every evening?” Haru asked.

“If you want.”

“When we go back to Tokyo, move in with me.  Even if we can’t see each other much during the day, I want to start and end every day with you, Makoto.”

Makoto kissed him sweetly and he dropped his forehead to rest against Haru’s.  “I can’t think of a better thing to do, Haru, than to start and end every day with you.”

 

 

 

        


End file.
